Pizza and Conversation
The same night that my boys were attending a friend’s birthday party at an NBA game…I took the opportunity to take my middle daughter out to dinner.
(To be fair, I took the boys out when she was at a friend’s on Saturday)
We had deep dish pizza, that girl and I, something totally opposed to my healthy eating lifestyle.
It was also . . . awesome.
It’s not often I sit and have one-on-one conversation without interruption with any of these kids so the weekend was filled with this.
My sons worried about the party and wanted to talk about their books and their Pokemon games and what they wanted for their own birthday. You know…11-year-old boy things.
My daughter and I had a lot of conversation.
We talked about the fact I worried so much about her brother, the worrier and shy kid. I informed her that it’s nights like that…when he’s so scared and anxious…I miss their Mom. Sure, the occasional memory or perfume or food will bring her to my head. The stressful times when I truly miss her help and the need of her own particular brand of expertise is when I miss her even more.
We talked about the fact that I’m going to date again. She’s okay with it, which bowls me over, I have to be honest. She’s about the only one of her siblings that is, too. It’s not that the others are mean about it or screaming at me about it. It’s just that they have a singular view of their father and that view is either with their Mom or alone.
I don’t share that view. It was really nice to know that my daughter, at least, doesn’t share it, either. We postulated why…is it because the others aren’t ready? Is it because they haven’t totally come to grips with their Mom being gone? Is it just the drama of a household that’s a bit askew?
At the end of the evening we came to a realization.
It really doesn’t matter.
“You’re too young to be alone for the rest of your life,” said my daughter.
“I agree,” I told her.
We moved on . . . what’s Peter Capaldi’s next step as Doctor Who? What movie are we most excited for this year? (She’s in the Marvel Universe. I’m leaning Star Wars) What’s your English report about?
“Oh my God! Paramore just won a Grammy!” Yep. That conversation happened, too.
We agreed that over-use of autotune is the bane of the music industry and agreed to disagree that Ed Sheeran is the greatest current musician out there today. (I threw Derek Trucks in her face. She couldn’t argue)
Having wholly indulged in greasy, fattening pizza we left satisfied. I made a batch of cookies at home . . . and waited for her brothers to get back from their party.
In the end, the conversation was one we’d been waiting to have for a long time. It went everywhere and nowhere at once.
It was perfect.