This weekend we made someone happy. It wasn’t intentional…in fact, it was spur of the moment and just going through the boys’ closets.
Since we moved from our home – which we couldn’t afford – to the rental house we now inhabit, a lot has changed. We purged a lot of old clothes, materials, strange items we shouldn’t have been saving . . . even Andrea’s old clothes that were either worn out or just not worth keeping anymore.
Bear in mind that purge came in the weeks after my wife, Andrea, passed away. Our lives went into a whirlwind of activity and the time, opportunity and effort to get philosophical about clothing, pictures, cards and the like just wasn’t there. Where I’ve seen posts, movies, articles and everything about how some people cannot face purging their spouse’s clothing or items after they pass, I just didn’t have that luxury. We had to move and I wasn’t going to keep everything.
But now, after nearly two years, I had to go through the materials in the dressers and closet for my twin boys, Noah and Sam, nearly 10. Now they’re growing like weeds and eating us out of house and home.
Andrea’s sister has a little one who’s a few years behind the boys . . . and I had a bunch of clothes that won’t fit them anymore, but her son would fit them well. The boys didn’t want to go, their cousins were not home. It was my oldest, Abbi, and I and we got there in time to sit in the back yard with Andrea’s Mom and sister. This would be a common, normal experience were it not for the fact that a) Andrea’s father passed away a couple weeks ago and b) Andrea’s Mom has a degenerative brain disorder that is akin to Parkinson’s on steroids. The emotions of he week seemed to have weighed very heavily on her and it wasn’t going well.
But then we showed up. Abbi gave her Grandma a hug. She hugged her Aunt . . . and we saw Andrea’s Mom smile, laugh, and make jokes. She’s not as quick as she once was, nor is she mobile. She needs a lot of help . . . help that her only surviving daughter now gives her most of the time. It was good to see her smile . . . and Andrea’s sister, too.
It’s amazing how a little thing . . . a visit from Andrea’s daughter and husband . . . can cause a small glimmer of joy.
We forget the little things we do in life that can lead to positive things. A simple purging of the closet (well, if you’d seen the closet . . . wasn’t simple) is a big thing to a woman whose lost a lot in the last couple years. As hard as it was for our kids to adjust to losing their Grandfather . . . they love and want to cheer up their Grandma, which is why Abbi came along.
It wasn’t much, but sometimes, that’s just enough to make someone happy.