I’ll Find My Way

A shot of me by my friend Landon Knauss…a rare photo where I look pretty decent

I’ll Find My Way (Live) the Derek Trucks Band from the LP Songlines

The title doesn’t really apply to anything in particular.  It does relate to the fact that I used to look like the guy up there . . . and that’s a rare photo of me that I actually think I look pretty decent.  It’s not an ego kind of thing, I don’t think I looked particularly great most of the time, but much of my appearance changes – where I looked like a decent human being – was due to a makeover by my wife.  Now, I try to put much of that into practice.  The main thing being that I posted this photo so I have a goal to work toward:

Getting almost that skinny again.

I admit it . . . I was a couch potato for quite awhile.  I’d like to say I wasn’t but that’s not the truth.  My wife had her knees go out and that led to her not moving much which led to none of us moving much.  Where she gained a significant amount of weight I hadn’t looked to myself to realize that I had done it, too.  To get back to that guy you see up there I need to lose at least 38 pounds.  I’d be happy to lose 28.  That would get me close.

I know I said this already, but it’s not vanity that pressures me, either.  It’s reality.  I don’t know that the kids or I really realized just how much we missed being outdoors or engaging in some sort of activity until we started doing it again.  I lost a lot of weight simply by attrition.  That 28 I need to lose was probably more like 48 or more a year ago.  Just by having to clean, take care of the kids, do laundry, go up and down the stairs, chase after the boys, all of that led to the loss.

But I’ve hit a plateau now.  I cannot continue to eat the portion sizes I do now and not have exercised and lose weight.  As much as Kim Kardashian may want you to think you can take a pill and simply lose weight the reality is nobody really knows what she does for a living, she’s got a trainer and if you believe the gossip columns tends to hang out with lots of athletes.  I don’t think it’s particularly hard to lose your weight when you do that.  It’s all about image for people like that.  It’s not image or vanity for me.  It’s life.

My kids have spent the summer doing what kids do . . . what they should do.  Without ten tons of technology keeping them in the house they are riding their bikes.  They’re going to the library.  They’re playing games.  They find things to do and they’re probably in vastly better shape than they’ve been in the last year.  They’re going to get home to get ready for school and I’ll barely be able to keep up with them.  I can’t let them down to that degree and end up making them become what I’m trying to leave behind.

So I get up at 6am…even if it’s like today and I didn’t sleep well.  I get up, walk for as long as I can, get back by 6:45, cool off, get in the shower, then get ready for work.  The next big step is stopping the giant portions and most importantly not eating from the moment I get home.  It’s my biggest poor habit.  I don’t eat much during the day but from the moment I get in the door at night it’s like I can’t stop myself.  I understand the complaint from those trying to lose weight that it’s not as simple as “just don’t eat.”  That’s a line from skinny people who don’t really eat much anyway.

Now . . . don’t worry, I won’t be posting my weight each morning or subjecting you to what I eat.  I will post recipes, maybe even a few cooking segments here and there.

The reason?  I think the idea of homemade has crept out of our households.  I’m raising four kids alone and can still manage to cook, even breakfast, the best I can.  Maybe it’s not amazing food, but it’s mine.  You should too.

So look for that . . . because as our story begins so does how we live that story.

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