And so it begins . . .

This is the inaugural post of my new journey.  The idea came from a saying I put on the wall with some photos of my kids.

“Home.  Where our story begins.”  That statement couldn’t be more true in our situation.

The best way to describe our lives now IS the beginning of a new story.  Like every good book, every tale that holds your interest, there is this sort of ambiguous beginning.  You meet the characters at some point in their lives, but inevitably you end up with glimpses into the backstory that got the protagonists where they are.

So let me catch you up, if you’re just clicking here.

On March 26th, 2011, my wife passed away.  To say it was unexpected falls entirely short of the mark, but no phrase would actually hit the bullseye.  Complications from pneumonia were the official cause, though there were other factors I won’t detail in this post that contributed to her passing.

What makes this such a tragic and life-changing event, beyond the horrific loss of my love, partner and best friend, is the string of events that swirled around the weeks of her passing.  She died on our 18th anniversary, at 8:30am.  Within a few weeks, we had to leave our home.  The combination of losing 1 income and an unforgiving bank forced us to look for a place to lease within just a few weeks of her passing.  Two weeks after returning to work, my boss informed me she was demoting me and cutting my salary by 1/3.  She said I should thank her, it would give me more time to deal with my kids and less stress.  Nevermind that living in California with the lost of tens of thousands of dollars in salary made it impossible for me to live.

So how is this a beginning, when it looks like the end?!  Well, that is the beginning of the story, and the point of this first post.

I found a house to lease, from a property management company who went to bat for me with a home owner who took a risk on someone who lost half their income and had questionable credit.

I got a better job.  Not just better, they created a position for me, in an economy when new jobs are hard to find.  And the new job is with people who appreciate my input, want my opinions, value my work and understand that I am now a single father of 4 children and they have to come first.

From this point on you will get an indication, hopefully from daily posts, of my new family’s struggle to walk this new road.  It’s not a simple story.  It’s not an easy one.  You may feel at times like you’ve walked into a bad episode of “Lost” with flashbacks, emotion, and horrific pain.  Still, I hope it doesn’t turn you off.

This isn’t an attempt to tell people how to survive loss, nor is it a guidebook on how to be a parent.  Like others before me, I’m making this up as I go along.  By the same token, I’ll accept comments, but please understand this is an outlet for me.  I’m not asking for advice, just typing my thoughts and probably venting a lot of frustration.

So look forward to observations, frustrations, probably a lot of music, pictures and whatever else comes into the blender that our lives were thrust into.

Our Story Begins…

Family Photo
A precursor to my family
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2 thoughts on “And so it begins . . .”

  1. Dave,
    This is great! And your are, coincidentally, at the exact same point in time I was when I started putting my observations, thoughts, frustrations and other assorted pondering in written form to “Widow Dude”, the kindest man I may never meet. I now have 100 pages of “Our Story” as I conveyed it to him, and it is one of the greatest things I could have done for myself.

  2. Thanks for sharing, Dave. We think of you and your family often and send prayers your way each day. Andrea and the kids are so blessed to have you in their lives. You are truly an amazing person.

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